


Keeping A Secret

by cherrysprite



Series: Quarantine Fics [19]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Childhood Friends, Angst, Boyfriends, Boys In Love, Childhood Friends, Coming Out, Crying, Developing Relationship, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, First Kiss, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Getting Together, Good Boyfriend Theo Raeken, Growing Up, Growing Up Together, Idiots in Love, Implied Sexual Content, Kissing, M/M, School Dances, Secret Relationship, Songfic, Teen Romance, Theo's family is actually cool this time
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-23
Updated: 2020-05-23
Packaged: 2021-03-02 19:13:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,353
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24331870
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cherrysprite/pseuds/cherrysprite
Summary: Theo's been in love with his best friend Liam for years, so now that they're finally together, nothing's going to get him to leave - even Liam's fear of coming out of the closet. He's willing to go with him for every step of the way.(Keeping A Secret - Bleachers)
Relationships: Liam Dunbar/Theo Raeken
Series: Quarantine Fics [19]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1691383
Comments: 12
Kudos: 94





	Keeping A Secret

**Author's Note:**

> No major triggers for this one except for the general angst that Liam goes through about himself :) I hope you enjoy :)

_"And what a choice to choose to be held_  
_by somebody who slips in and out of themselves"_  
_[Keeping A Secret](https://youtu.be/QiMj6TOsX6E) \- Bleachers_

_ April 9, 2020  
_ On the way home from Theo’s school, the buds on the dogwood trees were starting to pop up again, ready to bloom into pink spring flowers in just a few weeks before they transition into green summer leaves afterwards. The petals of the flowers would fall to the sidewalks for Theo to kick around as he walked home, alone.

He had taken to looking at his surroundings on his way home now that Liam didn’t walk with him anymore. Lately, Liam had been getting rides home from some of his lacrosse buddies who had cars, but Theo didn’t mind. He and Liam both lived on the same street, only one house in between them, so they could see each other pretty much whenever they wanted to.

The walk had admittedly been more fun when he had his best friend by his side, but there wasn’t a lot that he wouldn’t do for Liam. If walking home without him was one of those things, then he could deal with a little silence.

Besides, it gave him a lot of time to think. Sure, he thought mostly about Liam, but he wasn’t exactly complaining about that, either.

He looked up at the trees getting ready for those summer leaves and smiled softly to himself.

+++

_ August 19th, 2019  
_ Theo moved onto Liam’s street shortly after his dad left their family, leaving just Theo, his sister Tara, and his mother Marie, when Theo was in third grade. They’d remained strong through it all - Jonathan Raeken was not a particularly nice man while Theo knew him, and even though he was their father and his mother’s husband, all three of them could safely say that they were better off without him. The wounds had obviously taken awhile to heal, but the first step was moving into a place on Magnolia Street.

His next door neighbors were a nice couple named Daniel and Pete, who brought Theo’s mom a plant on their second day in the neighborhood and encouraged her, Theo, and Tara to come to them if they ever needed help with anything. They had a little dog named Cookie at the time, who was only a puppy but grew up with Theo on the other side of the fence, and a pretty impressive garden that Marie always longed for. Marie came to them for help a few times, mostly for those gardening purposes, being Marie’s first friends in the neighborhood.

The other next door neighbor was an older woman named Clarissa who seemed like the type to yell at Theo for walking too close to her yard, but she was actually very kindhearted and had a soft spot for Theo’s younger sister from the very beginning. Theo and Tara were like the grandchildren she never had, and she always got them candies on their birthdays and made sure to give them extra on Halloween. Even after Theo and Tara both got older and stopped trick-or-treating, she’d be at their front step that time, giving them little bags of treats just for them.

But next to Dan and Pete was where Liam and his mom and stepfather lived, which Theo didn’t know until a few weeks into his first summer there. Liam had apparently not noticed Theo had moved in either, since he almost fell off of his skateboard when he saw Theo for the first time in his yard. Theo had watched with wide eyes as Liam narrowly avoided skinning both of his knees, and then laughed along when Liam did. “I didn’t know there were any other kids on this street,” Liam said, walking over. “I’m Liam.”

From there, it was pretty much natural. Liam was a year younger than Theo, so he was a grade below him, but he was his first friend in Beacon Hills. They hung out in each other’s yards, only a house away from each other, all summer. Theo had been so sad for that summer to end, because he considered it the best of his life.

The summers hadn’t stopped happening, though. Even though they were a grade apart, they always hung out after school and on the weekends, and of course, during the summer. Theo was outside all the time and got a pretty good tan for the skinny, pale kid he had been until around eighth grade, from spending hours out in the sun with Liam. They were each other’s favorite friend, even as more people came into their lives. They both blew off plans to hang out with each other, sometimes even with  _ girls _ , on Liam’s part, and there was nothing abnormal about it.

Things really didn’t change between them as they grew up. They both sought each other out for company first, and they’d spend the winters in each other’s rooms and the summers out in the backyard. They learned how to skateboard together, since they both sucked (they didn’t get much better, but it was still something to do in the driveway) and drew little cartoons. As teenagers, they talked about anything and everything, including those long, sometimes senseless philosophical conversations that they only seemed to have with each other. Theo felt like Liam was the one person he could, or ever wanted to, for that matter, tell anything to. Liam didn’t judge him.

That was really the only change. It was only natural to get older and get certain feelings that weren’t around before, and Theo had been feeling some interesting ones for awhile. It was the summer before Theo’s freshman and Liam’s eighth grade year that he realized that what he was feeling wasn’t strictly friendship. Those feelings stuck around until that summer, the one before Theo’s junior year and Liam’s sophomore.

They were under the big oak tree in Theo’s backyard on the red and white blanket they kept in the garage just for this. Theo was sitting up against the bark, not minding how it was scratching his skin, and Liam was laying down, his head a few inches away from Theo’s thigh, his head propped up on one hand with his elbow resting on the blanket. They both stared up at the trees, quiet after one of those long conversations. 

Theo could remember exactly what it was about, something about the future and how things don’t always work out the way people planned. 

The conversation had delved deeper than their usual “I wonder why they decided to investigate space in the first place” or “do you think that people can go through life without ever drinking soda, ever?” so they had been quiet for a longer time than usual. Liam had been talking about what was going to happen after high school and how he couldn’t even fathom it, and Theo had pretty much agreed. Things seemed good right then, no need to change or rush time.

The long silence gave Theo plenty of opportunity to look at Liam. Back when they were kids, they’d always end up zoning out on each other until it became kind of a game for them, just to see when they could catch each other staring. Back when he was a ten year old, Theo had always been staring on purpose, just to throw Liam off, but it was different now. Theo stared because he just couldn’t help it.

He was fairly certain that when he stared at Liam when he was a ten year old, it had been because Liam had something on his face, not because he was admiring the shadows his eyelashes cast on his cheeks in the sunlight. Ten year old Theo wouldn’t have been looking at how delicate but strong Liam’s wrists looked with his red sleeves pushed up onto his forearms. Ten year old Theo also probably wouldn’t have picked his shirt out just because Liam said that it looked good on him once, but there he was. He was wearing the grey shirt Liam liked, just because Liam liked it. The staring game was now just an excuse to look at him.

He’d obviously been caught staring before in the “game” that it was, but he did jump a little when he noticed Liam’s eyes on him. “What?” Theo asked, a little smile coming onto his lips. Liam didn’t answer, just looked up at him with light blue eyes brightened by the sun. 

Ready to make a joke out of it like he always did, Theo reached a hand out to poke Liam in the face. Instead, Liam grabbed his wrist, circling it in one hand as he pulled himself to sit up. Theo didn’t have any time to ask why before Liam’s lips were on his own, silencing any question he could have had. His brain went dead anyway.

Liam dropped his hand and used both of his own to cup Theo’s cheeks, his lips moving fervently against Theo’s. Theo’s eyes stayed open in shock long enough to see that Liam’s were closed too tight to be comfortable, like he was nervous and scared. Theo barely had enough willpower to get past the initial internal freakout of “oh my fucking God” to close his eyes and tilt his head to fit his lips to Liam’s better, but the sound of relief he got from him was enough of a reward.

Theo’s first kiss, their first kiss, was a little too hard and a little too dry, but Theo thought it was perfect either way. He’d been so afraid that when it finally came time to kiss someone, he would be scared and inexperienced, because never in a million years did he think he’d be kissing the one he really wanted to. This was so much better than Theo had thought - he didn’t stress himself out over the imperfections of it at first, because it didn’t matter. It was Liam.

Liam was trembling by the time he pulled away to breathe. Their faces stayed close, eyes only a few inches apart, but Liam’s were full of fear. Liam was the one who had kissed someone before, but he was still the one to look uncertain. He went from dazed to thoughtful in an instant, and that was when Theo’s fears finally kicked in. Liam had just kissed him, but he was waiting for the other shoe to drop. Maybe now that Liam had done it, he would realize that he hadn’t actually been feeling what he thought he did, and there was no reason to kiss Theo at all. Maybe he would get up and run away, and they’d pretend it didn’t happen while Theo pretended Liam hadn’t wrecked him in less than a minute.

But he didn’t.

Liam looked at him in wonder and something deeper, a tiny smile parting his lips until it took over his face entirely, and it was possibly the most beautiful thing Theo had ever seen. He’d pulled Liam in again, still shaking, just to hold him close. “Was that okay?” Liam asked breathlessly, resting his head against Theo’s chest. Theo couldn’t help the shocked laugh that bubbled up out of him, all of his emotions firing off at once.

_ “Yes,” _ He assured, squeezing Liam tight just like he’d wanted to for years. “Yes,  _ yes.” _

+++

Theo grinned to himself, emulating Liam’s from the first time he kissed him, as he kicked a small stone skittering along the sidewalk as he walked. That had been back in August, and though it had only been a few months now that it was April, it still felt like they’d been together for their entire lives.

He hardly remembered a time that he wasn’t in love with Liam; he actually thought more and more as time went on that he had never been anything but in love with him. Thinking about the years passed, he recognized what he hadn’t then. Theo had loved Liam for a long, long time, and it showed in the way they were always attached at the hip. There was a reason Liam was his favorite friend as a child, and it wasn’t just because he knew him the best. It was only natural that they were finally together.

Theo liked to replay that memory in his head of their first kiss all those months back, because that was when things were simple.

He wasn’t stupid; he never would have assumed that suddenly being with the guy he loved since childhood was going to be a smooth transition. He just...hadn’t been expecting it to be quite this rocky. While things came easy to them when they were alone, all hushed whispers and shy kisses, they weren’t as easy when real life creeped in.

+++

_ September 3rd, 2019  
_ The first time something other than perfect happened was when they were in Theo’s room about two weeks after they first kissed. They still hadn’t labeled anything - they were friends who made out and had feelings for each other, but they hadn’t made anything official yet - and Theo was okay with that. 

No matter what their label would turn out to be, it didn’t mean that their normal routine stopped. It was a Friday night before the school year started when Liam was planning to sleep over at the Raekens’ house, and nothing was really different. They played some video games until the sun went down, ate dinner with Tara and Marie, and then went right back up to Theo’s room to hang out.

The only thing that was out of the ordinary was how close they were. They’d both silently agreed that they were taking things slow, so they hadn’t been up in Theo’s room since they got together. Theo didn’t want to make Liam think he was trying to pressure him into anything and Liam never asked about it, so that was the first time in awhile that they’d been on Theo’s bed. 

Before they started dating, they’d sleep in the same bed and watch movies on Theo’s TV on it, but they always stayed a few feet apart. They may have been the type of friends to fool around a little with playful kicks and punches, but they weren’t the type to cuddle. Theo had thought it was too risky to try it, what with the feelings he’d been secretly harboring, and Liam felt the same, so usually they didn’t touch on the bed. It was another silent rule.

But this time, Liam was curled up against Theo, almost on top of him. Their legs were tangled together at the foot of the bed, Liam’s arms were wrapped around Theo’s middle, and his head rested on Theo’s chest, listening to his heartbeat. Theo had one arm wrapped around Liam’s back to keep him close as the movie played, as close as they could be. If Theo was a cat, he would have been purring. He’d never experienced anything better than finally being able to hold Liam like this. From the little contented hums that Liam let out here and there, he was experiencing the same.

They were watching one of Liam’s favorite movies, Back to the Future, which they’d seen a million times. As it turned out, Theo’s ability to argue with Liam had diminished even more after they got together, so he hadn’t put up much of a fight when Liam suggested they watch it again. Anything to see Liam’s smile as he mouthed the words to the scenes he’d memorized.

“You smell good,” Theo commented absently during a slow part of the movie when he kissed the top of Liam’s head. 

“It’s your shampoo,” Liam reminded, nodding towards the bathroom attached to Theo’s bedroom. Liam had rushed over to Theo’s house right after his lacrosse practice let out, so he took a shower at Theo’s place. (As much as he wanted to join him, Theo let him take that shower alone...like he said, they were taking things slow, and Liam really needed to focus on actually showering. Theo loved him, but summer practices in the heat were gross.)

Theo laughed softly. “Maybe that’s it. You smell like me.”

Liam groaned into his shirt, making Theo laugh more. “God, that’s…”

“True?”

“...Yeah, but...ughhh.” Theo didn’t take his disgust too seriously; he knew Liam loved it. “Sappy.” 

“Only for you,” Theo said. “How was practice today, anyway?”

Liam sighed again, but this one was more exasperated than anything else. “It was okay, I guess. There’s this new guy who just transferred here for his sophomore year, Nolan…”

Theo thought that all was right with the world that night. There he was with the boy he loved laying over him, watching a movie and talking like they’d always been this way. He didn’t see how things could get any more perfect.

He was only aware that things weren’t, in fact, perfect, when Liam suddenly flinched hard against him, his words cutting right off. Theo jolted to look at him, finding that Liam’s head was tilted to look at the cracked bedroom door where Theo’s mother was standing. She was holding a bowl of watermelon, one of their favorite snacks, and had a slightly surprised look on her face at seeing them so close, but her shock quickly faded in pursuit of a soft, knowing smile. She set the bowl down on the shelf by Theo’s door before closing it quietly, stepping out.

Liam had tightened his hold on Theo as soon as the door had opened, and he didn’t loosen it when it was closed again. Theo was confused. He knew that some people got nervous around their friends’ parents no matter what, like how Mason and Corey couldn’t bring themselves to say Marie’s first name instead of Ms. Raeken, but Liam wasn’t one of those people. He’d said for a long time that Marie was like a second mother to him, and had never had any problem before. 

Still, his heartbeat seemed faster where his chest was pressed to Theo’s side, and his hold stayed tight. “You okay?” Theo asked quietly into the top of Liam’s head, concerned. 

Liam nodded. He sounded a little breathless as he answered. “Yeah, I’m good. I just wasn’t-” He cut off, seemingly unable to find the words. “I’m fine.”

Theo let it drop, but he made sure to keep Liam close during the rest of the movie. He couldn’t really focus after that. Liam was still clearly tense and Theo couldn’t figure out why. 

+++

At that time, new in their budding romance, Theo had hoped that it was just a little slip-up on somebody’s part, like Liam had gotten confused or something. He thought that things would go back to normal after that, but they weren’t so lucky.

Theo walked a little further and caught a glimpse of a front porch that looked just like Liam’s.

+++

_ September 17th, 2019  
_ After school started and Liam decided to start getting rides home instead of walking with Theo, Theo had less time to talk to him. They only had gym class together since they were in different grades, and lunch was barely enough time for them to be together. Add in Liam’s demanding schedule from being promoted to co-captain of the lacrosse team, and Theo and Liam’s weeks after the summer bliss started to be a lot less free.

It was disappointing that now they could finally be together they always seemed to be apart, so they took the time they got. Usually Liam would come over to Theo’s house whenever he could, even if they spent the whole time just studying or doing homework together. They still liked to be in the same place.

One day in September, Theo noticed that both of Liam’s parents’ cars were in the driveway and he saw that the light up in Liam’s bedroom was on, so he decided to surprise him. He hadn’t been to Liam’s house for awhile, since even before they kissed, so he thought it would be nice to stop by. He dropped his schoolbag by the porch steps and walked up.

He didn’t get so far as to knock on the door before he heard Liam’s barreling footsteps coming down the stairs. The front door was pulled open, and before Theo could say anything, Liam was stepping out on the porch himself. “It’s really not a good time,” He said quickly, almost frantically, as Theo opened his mouth to greet him. 

“What-?” He stammered as Liam steered him by the shoulders to face the other way. Liam glanced at his parents’ cars in the driveway anxiously. He walked him towards the steps again, silently inviting him - or demanding him - to leave. “Liam, wh-?” He asked, standing in the grass. 

“I’m sorry, it’s just not a good time,” Liam said again, offering no other explanation as he turned back towards the house. Theo’s mouth opened and closed, dumbfounded.

“Okay? I’ll talk to you later?” He tried as Liam opened his front door to go back inside. Liam gave him an unreadable look as the door shut behind him, and Theo was left standing there alone for a few more seconds before he finally grabbed his bag and left.

He didn’t get it. He used to go to Liam’s house all the time. Both his parents loved Theo, they’d told him that, so it was weird and confusing to him that there was any reason Liam wouldn’t want him around because of them. 

He walked off anyway, scratching his head as he went the last few feet to his own house and went inside. Liam didn’t text him that night, but it’s not like Theo texted him, either.

The next day at school, Liam had grabbed his hand and squeezed when they got to lunch as an apology, which Theo took with a soft smile, relieved that he wasn’t mad at him.

+++

But Theo was a worrier. During the next few weeks, it was easy to pick up on Liam’s mood shifts. Ever since that day, he seemed sadder and sadder around Theo, and clearly, something was wrong. 

He went over every possible reason that Liam could be acting strangely for a few weeks. As far as he could tell and remember, Liam had always told him everything, so he wondered what could possibly be bothering him so much that he had to keep it to himself. He considered everything from failing grades to trouble at home, even bullying, that Liam wasn’t telling him about, but it wasn’t like he could just ask. He tried to bring it up when they were calm and alone, trying to find good times, but Theo always fell short. He knew Liam, and he knew better than to try and force anything out of him.

It just hurt him to see Liam carry so much weight on his shoulders all of the sudden. Theo’s smile started to fade as he continued walking.

+++

_ October 25th, 2019  
_ Theo had never been one for team sports, but one of the first things Liam wanted to do when he finally got to highschool with Theo was join the lacrosse team. With the help of Liam’s stepdad and Theo, he practiced for a better part of the summer until he really felt confident enough for tryouts in September of 2018. 

And though Theo didn’t want to play himself, he was always sure to show up to Liam’s games on Friday nights, even the away ones if they weren’t too far. In fact, Theo had never had any interest in lacrosse before Liam started playing on the team, but he’d gotten him into it. He was sure that he wouldn’t be nearly as interested in it if Liam wasn’t there of course, because Theo had liked him for a long time by then, but it still counted.

He liked going to Liam’s lacrosse games even better once things between them changed, because now he could do what he had wanted to for awhile. He could watch with rapt attention and yell Liam’s name as loud as he wanted to, which was basically the same, but it felt so much better when he did it now. Liam’s eyes would meet his in the crowd and he’d grin real wide beneath his helmet.

He didn’t run out onto the field to meet Liam like the other players’ girlfriends did, though. Even though they were months into being more than just friends at that point, they’d never defined anything, and Theo, once again not wanting to pressure Liam, never asked what they were. So he didn’t make a habit of showing his affection in public because he didn’t want to embarrass him. 

However, they definitely did do something new after the games, something that Theo had fantasized about since Liam’s position on the lacrosse team was only an idea. Even though he didn’t take his truck to school, Liam was always too tired to walk to and from practice, so Theo would always give him a ride - which gave him some pretty awesome ideas. He’d thought about parking his truck way back in the student section, near the trees so that no one would be able to see his truck there when it was dark, but that obviously wasn’t it. Liam would take a little longer in the showers after games, long enough that people would clear out of the parking lot and leave them alone. Theo would wait in the backseat for him, Liam would get on his lap, and...well, things would progress from there.

Those fantasies ended up coming true, much to Theo’s glee. He’d jokingly told Liam about them before (in a less horny manner...he’d actually said they would “hang out” in the backseat), but since they barely did anything more than kissing, he hadn’t expected Liam to actually want to do it. But as it turned out, at Liam’s first lacrosse game, Liam surprised him by doing just that - taking extra long in the shower and coming out to an empty and dark parking lot.

Theo was waiting for Liam, those fantasies mostly forgotten, tapping his fingers on his steering wheel. He didn’t notice Liam coming up to the car until the back door of his truck was opening instead of the passenger seat. He looked back at Liam with a raised eyebrow as the overhead lights turned on. “What are you doing in the front?” Liam asked cheekily, and his smirk was pretty much all it took for Theo to hop over the center console into the back seat.

Liam’s lips were on his as soon as they were both sitting down, both on separate seats of the bench. It was tame like it always was, just lips moving together without anything more between them. Although the calm kissing wasn’t exactly what Theo had been anticipating, he certainly didn’t have any complaints, either. His heart beat fast against his chest, aching.

Theo loved the little sighs Liam would let out when they were together like this, almost like he didn’t want to make a sound but had to anyway. He always squeezed Liam wherever he was holding him a little tighter whenever he did to tell him how much he really did like it, and it usually let Liam loosen up a little. The same thing happened that night; Liam breathed shakily, easily overwhelmed by this new thing, and Theo pressed the hand he had on Liam’s cheek a little firmer.

Liam kissed him back just as firmly then, tilting his head to the side and inching closer on the back bench. Theo pulled him in slowly, both of their eyes closed, giving Liam enough time to stop him if he wanted him to. He didn’t. Instead, he took the hint to go even closer, so close that his hand rested on Theo’s far thigh. Theo bit back a sigh of his own when he felt his strong fingers overtop his jeans.

Theo’s head was spinning as things started taking a turn more towards what he’d had in mind before. Liam, hyped up on winning his first game as the Cyclones’ co-captain, took advantage of where they were and got closer and closer until there was nowhere else to go but up. He slowly lifted one leg so he perched on Theo’s thigh, never stopping his soft kissing, and moved even further so that his legs framed Theo’s hips. Liam’s knees rested on the seats next to Theo and his hands moved up to grip Theo’s shoulders.

Theo shuddered when Liam dared to nibble on his bottom lip and his fingers splayed out in surprise when he felt Liam’s tongue cross the seam of his lips, splitting them open softly. With a tiny flick of Liam’s tongue against his, Theo’s hands fell to hold Liam’s hips as he hung on. Kissing Liam like this was so much better than he’d ever imagined. In his daydreams it would be quick and dirty like teenage relationships were, but this was so, so much better. Liam tasted like his favorite mint gum plus something that was uniquely him, and Theo couldn’t get enough of it. He couldn’t believe they had never been this far before.

Yet Liam was on top of him, holding onto his shoulders tightly and kissing him with tongue languidly like he had no other place to be. Theo wondered then what he looked like like this, if he were well-put together or if he looked as wrecked as Theo felt already, which let Theo be okay with it when he pulled back for breath.

However, trying to breathe was pointless - Liam was nothing short of beautiful, just as he’d always been. The darkness of the night plus the dim moonlight through the truck windows lit him up in the best way, the blue highlights of his cheekbones and his still-damp hair making Theo want to worship. Theo’s heart was beating faster than it ever had then, maybe even faster than it had been when they first kissed. Back then, he hadn’t had any time to anticipate anything that was coming. Now, he felt like the words that had been on the tip of his tongue for years were about to burst out of him, and he knew then was the time. He pressed a kiss to Liam’s neck, making Liam shudder above him, and managed to breathe.  _ “I love you,” _ He gasped, working his way up towards Liam’s mouth with his lips. He wished he could leave a trail where he’d been, a long line of kisses from Liam’s collarbone all the way up to the corner of Liam’s mouth. He wanted to leave Liam’s lips red and swollen like that forever.  _ “I love you, I love you.” _

Liam had been shaking for a long time with the sensation of it all, so Theo didn’t notice it at first, but while Theo’s heart was bursting at the seams, Liam’s chose that moment to break down. 

It started with one of Liam’s hands moving from Theo’s shoulder to the nape of his neck, gripping him weakly, and Liam coming to rest his head against Theo’s hair from where he was overtop of him. He took one sharp breath that sounded nothing like the others, and Theo opened his eyes - Liam’s were closed, but the moonlight caught a tear starting to work its way down onto Liam’s cheekbone. Theo startled.

“Hey,” He said softly, concerned. He pulled away to meet Liam’s tearful eyes and put one of his hands on Liam’s cheek to brush his tear away with the pad of his thumb. “What’s wrong-?” He asked, trying to get Liam to look at him. 

“I’m sorry,” Liam said shakily. Theo rubbed more tears off his face, his lips parting in confusion.

“For what?” He whispered. “Hey, look at me...Did I go too fast?” Theo asked. Liam bit his lip, some of his hair falling into his face. He shook his head harder.

“No, I’m sorry, I’m sorry…”

“Liam…” Theo tried, one hand on Liam’s back to keep him close and the other’s thumb softly moving on his face. He didn’t think he’d ever seen Liam cry like this. Sure, there had been scraped knees and rejections from girls, but this was different. 

Liam fought through his tears, taking deep, stuttering breaths. “I-I can’t come out,” He finally admitted, spitting the words out like they disgusted him. Theo tensed. Out of everything he’d considered, he hadn’t even begun to think about that. Theo opened his mouth to say something, though he didn’t know what yet by the time Liam spoke again. “And I shouldn’t be asking you to hide with me, that’s not  _ fair _ , but I can’t  _ imagine _ having to tell everyone in my life that...that I’m  _ gay,”  _ Liam said, tears coming down without control now. It was the first time Liam had ever said it out loud that he was gay. Theo stroked his back. “I  _ love _ you, and that’s not- that’s not fucking fair to you. It’s fucking  _ selfish _ , because I  _ know _ my family would be okay with it, but I still- I  _ can’t- _ ” He choked, the last words he could get out before he finally broke down against Theo’s shoulder. Theo held him as he cried, short, aborted sobs falling from his lips. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry…”

“It’s okay,” Theo whispered, stunned and sobered from how quickly the mood had dropped. Liam hid his face in Theo’s shoulder, his arms wrapped around Theo’s neck tightly, and Theo held him there.

+++

There were so many thoughts running through his head that night, it was almost like he’d gotten whiplash. One minute they were making out, the next Theo was confessing his love to him, and suddenly, Liam was crying. Only then, after Liam managed to gather himself after twenty minutes of constant apologizing, did they become official. 

It wasn’t the way Theo had imagined things would go. He would have thought that it would have been a happy occasion and one that wasn’t laced through with guilt, but timing for them was rarely right those days anyway. 

But Theo was patient.

+++

_ October 26, 2019  
_ They were at Theo’s house that morning, laying in his bed, but things were quiet. They’d never been this quiet at Theo’s house before. Nothing had never impacted them so much that they had nothing else to do but be quiet.

They’d finally made things official last night. They’d taken it all a step further. They’d come back to Theo’s place to sleep over after the game. 

It all would have been well and good if there wasn’t this weight hanging between them now. Liam carried himself differently as he walked into the house, and remained stiff as they laid next to each other. Theo felt how tight Liam’s chest was as it was pressed against Theo’s side and noticed that Liam’s jaw never seemed to unclench. 

After falling into bed the night before, no words spoken to each other, they’d woken up exhausted and still silent. Theo stared at the ceiling, willing words to come, but never finding anything good enough to say. Liam’s head rested on his chest as usual, breathing steadily. Theo thought then that silence had never been so goddamn deafening before. 

All they could hear was the sounds of Tara and Marie downstairs preparing breakfast for themselves, the slight clanging of a metal pan as it was pulled from a cabinet and the squeaky refrigerator door opening and closing. Theo wondered what Liam’s house sounded like right about then. He hadn’t been there in months, and now he knew why. The only place Liam wanted to go was where people already knew about him, and he guessed Theo should be grateful that his house was where his boyfriend felt safe, but it still put a sick twist in his gut. 

It was around seven when Liam’s stomach growled and Theo finally had some excuse to break the looming silence. “You hungry?” He asked. “We have more waffles in the freezer if you want.”

Liam shook his head, obviously lying, and Theo bit back a sigh of disappointment. He wondered briefly if Liam was ever going to talk to him, or if they were going to stay like this forever.

At least Liam seemed to feel the same way. He sat up a few seconds later, looking down at Theo, who propped himself up on his elbows to look at him. “I’m sorry,” Liam said again tiredly.

Theo’s chest ached. “Stop saying you’re sorry,” He said, reaching up to tuck a piece of Liam’s slightly grown-out hair off his forehead. Liam shook his head.

“No, you should know,” Liam said, sounding frustrated with himself. He came to lay back down on Theo, which felt a lot better now that they were talking again, even though it was hard. “I...this really wasn’t what I was imagining for myself, is all,” Liam admitted quietly after a few moments. “As a kid I grew up thinking I was going to marry some girl and have a big wedding, have that classic family with a dog and a couple of kids. And I know I can have a family and do all that stuff being gay, but I just-” Liam couldn’t find the words. “And it just feels so  _ final _ to come out.” 

_ Like this big thing in Liam’s life that had once been kept only to him was being spoken into existence. _ Theo understood that feeling completely, how lost he had felt in the beginning when he was figuring things out, but he couldn’t deny that it stung just a little bit to hear Liam say it. That was the complicated part of things like this, getting another person involved. Theo tamped down on his own hurt and pushed it back. This wasn’t his place to be upset.

Liam’s face crumpled, and Theo couldn’t be sure if it was because of his inability to hide his emotions or if Liam had just upset himself again. “God, that sounds so shitty, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

Theo sat up, bringing Liam with him, and hugged him close. “I understand,” He said softly, swallowing down the lump in his throat. “I used to feel the same way on some level, back when I thought I was straight. But, you know,” Theo chuckled softly, remembering the weeks of gay panic he’d had over Liam towards the beginning. “...Things happen, and it’s a big shift.” Liam nodded against Theo’s neck.

“I know that,” Liam murmured. His eyes had started tearing up again, but he brushed them away, determined to keep a strong face. “But...It’s not right for me to drag you into this.” Liam rubbed his hands on his own thighs nervously. Theo couldn’t tell what he was getting at. “So I understand if you don’t want to wait for me.”

Theo’s chest constricted and he felt like all the air had been knocked out of him at even the  _ thought _ of leaving Liam behind. He’d already waited so long for him, and since they’d been together, he was the happiest he’d ever been. There was no way he was giving up on this. “No,” Theo whispered softly but firmly, one hand in the hair on the back of Liam’s head. He pulled Liam back to look at him. “I’ve loved you for  _ years _ , Liam. Nothing you could say is going to change that. Come on. You don’t really think that this is a dealbreaker for me, is it?” Theo asked. Liam didn’t answer, but looked ashamed. Theo shook his head. “It isn’t. If you think I’m going to break up with you because of this, you’re a lot dumber than I thought you were.” Liam had to laugh at that, brushing tears off his face that left red blotches under his eyes. He gave a feeble smile and Theo grinned back, ignoring his own pain with this conversation. “So we’ll keep it a secret. I won’t pressure you. I know you’re mine, and that’s good enough for me.”

Liam fell into him, pressing a firm kiss to his lips and wrapping his arms around Theo’s neck. He crawled up into his lap again, this time just for comfort, and buried his face in Theo’s neck. “For now,” He said determinedly, making it sound like a promise.

Theo took a second before nodding. “...For now,” He agreed, although he wasn’t sure at the time when “now” was going to end.

+++

It was true, though. Even though they couldn’t be together in public like their friends were with their boyfriends and girlfriends, Theo had the proof that Liam was his and he was Liam’s.

It showed in the pictures in Theo’s phone, the ones taken of Liam when he wasn’t paying attention or the ones they took together with the front camera. He may not be able to put it on his lockscreen, but his favorite one was of Liam playing with Theo’s cat, an amused smile on his face, completely unaware that Theo was taking a picture. He was wearing Theo’s grey shirt, the one Liam had said he liked, and he looked like he’d been there on Theo’s bedroom floor all along. In some ways, he had.

It showed in the text messages that Theo could never bring himself to delete. All the random inside jokes that had formed from years of friendship, and the goodnight and goodmorning texts they both sent every day. Theo read them over all the time when he couldn’t see Liam for a pick-me-up, and he had caught Liam doing the same a few times. Every notification from Liam made him smile.

It showed in the clothes that Liam accidentally left on Theo’s floor. After their Valentine’s Day formal, they’d gone up to Theo’s bedroom while Marie and Tara were out and taken it to the next level. Clothes had come off slowly, each piece hitting the floor in a different place, as they ran their hands over every inch of skin they could find on each other. If the vivid memories weren’t enough, the tie that Liam had worn to the formal and never picked up off Theo’s bedroom floor was a constant reminder.

It showed in the way they looked at each other that night.

_  
  
_

+++

_ February 14, 2020  
_ The Valentine’s Day formal was one of the most talked-about events, always being the thing everyone looked forward to after winter break was over and everyone had to go back to school. It was pretty much like any other dance, but with a Valentine’s theme for the couples who inexplicably attended the dance instead of just hanging out with their significant others. There were chocolate cupcakes and other candies, and the whole gym was always decked out in heart-shaped decorations. The girls wore long pink or red dresses to fit the theme, and their dates matched their ties to their girls’ dresses. Overall, it was pretty tacky, but it was also the closest thing underclassmen got to prom, so they all made a really big deal out of it.

Theo would admit that he had been excited to go to the dance when he was a freshman and a sophomore, but now that he was a junior, he was a whole lot less enthusiastic. Prom was right around the corner for him (not that he would even be able to take Liam to prom anyway) and the formal wasn’t as fun when you had a date that you wanted to dance with but couldn’t. While it had been cool to get a sugar buzz at the dance with Liam when they were still just friends, Theo knew already that it wasn’t going to be as much fun with the threat of people finding out about them looming over their heads.

They were going with a group of friends, although it wasn’t really a group. Their friends just called it that because they were all dating each other, so there was no reason to call it anything else. Scott was dating Allison, Stiles was dating Lydia, Malia was dating Kira, and Mason was dating Corey, so that pretty much had everyone in their group with dates. They were just trying to make Liam and Theo feel better about not having dates, since they still didn’t know yet. It was the nice thing to do, but it also made the whole thing so much worse to think about.

As Theo and Liam walked into the gym together, their shoulders brushed and Liam looked up at him with a nervous, small smile. Theo couldn’t help but think that spending the night at Theo’s house would have been a much nicer way to spend their Friday night on their first Valentine’s Day together, but Liam wasn’t hearing it. He’d spent almost the entire day at school hyping the dance up to Theo. 

“Come on, there’s gonna be a lot of chocolate. Lucy from student council says there’s even gonna be chocolate covered strawberries. You love those,” Liam coaxed, although he didn’t really believe it either - he had been trying to convince himself as much as he was Theo. Right after that, Liam had admitted that he didn’t want to go at all either, but it wasn’t like they had much of a choice.

That was the real kicker of the night: Valentine King and Queen. Once again trying to make Valentine's formal more serious than it needed to be, Beacon Hills High had a tradition running for almost twenty years to elect a Valentine King and Queen, and just like every other blatant popularity contest, it had its habits. Pretty much every year since the tradition started, it was only natural that the captain of the lacrosse team was nominated for Valentine King, and this year, Liam had fallen into that role. Theo understood why. The Beacon Hills lacrosse team had been doing better than it had in years since Liam became one of the co-captains, so it wasn’t even a question on whether or not he was going to be nominated. 

It was needless to say that Liam didn’t want to be nominated, but once again, he didn’t have a choice. It made Theo feel a little less selfish to say that he hoped Liam didn’t win, because he didn’t think he could bear seeing Liam dance with whichever girl won Valentine Queen; Beacon Hills High may be progressive, but there was no having two kings. Not that Theo would even be nominated anyway.

It was also clear that Liam was one of the most popular candidates. Theo hardly heard about the other guys up for it, but two people had told Liam right off the bat that they’d voted for him when he and Theo had walked into the gym. 

He was trying not to think about that. Instead, he focused himself on dancing with his and Liam’s friends, sparing glances at his boyfriend every so often just to remind himself who he was here for. Even if he couldn’t be upfront about it, he was there to support him whether he won or lost the Valentine King ballot. 

But it was hard that night.

The music in the gym was overtaken by the sound of Theo’s heartbeat. Time seemed to move slower, like everyone was moving through air that had suddenly become thick and jellylike. Heavy with the idea that if he looked at Liam too long, it would somehow give them away, because things weren’t the same anymore, and they couldn’t be. They weren’t just friends anymore, so they couldn’t dance with each other jokingly like they used to. Everything they used to do before was now a guarded secret. Each move they made felt like it was shrouded by apprehension.

Liam was terrible at hiding his guilt. Every time their eyes met, he seemed to be thinking the same thing as Theo, and his eyes pleaded with Theo to forgive him.  _ I’m sorry, _ those blue eyes said,  _ that I can’t reach out and touch you like I want to in front of everybody. _

The same look was in Liam’s eyes as he looked over at Theo when his name was called for Valentine King. It was no surprise to them, but Liam’s steps looked exhausted as he walked towards the front of the gym, pushing through his cheering classmates. He let their class president set the plastic crown on his head and gave them all a smile, but it didn’t reach the corners of his eyes like it should have. It wasn’t a memorable, happy high school moment for him like it should have been. 

Hayden Romero, one of the best girls’ soccer players, was elected Valentine Queen. They danced together to slow music as other couples joined them, but Liam only had eyes for his boyfriend, who was sitting across the room, helpless to watch.

At twelve, Theo drove them back to his house. After the night they’d had, they didn’t even need to consider whether or not Liam was staying over. They needed to be somewhere quiet with each other more than they needed anything else. The ride over was almost silent, Liam looking out the window for the few minutes it took to get there. He held the red plastic crown in his hands, having taken it off as soon as they got in the truck.

“I love you,” Liam murmured as they pulled into Theo’s driveway, and Theo smiled.

When Theo stepped out of the driver’s seat, instead of heading right for the front door, he saw lightbulbs lit up in the backyard. It was then that he noticed that both Marie and Tara’s cars were gone from the driveway, leaving them completely alone. Theo pushed the fence gate open and found a note and a bluetooth speaker on the folding table near the house, Liam following close behind.

_ Share a dance. We’ll be back at 11 tomorrow. _

_ Love, Mom + Tara _

Theo chuckled quietly to himself, looking back at Liam, who had been reading over his shoulder. Liam looked up at him tiredly but with a small grin. Taking Liam’s smile as an invitation, he took Liam’s hand.

  
He pressed play on the speaker and guided Liam over to the middle of the yard.  _ “Seabird” _ by Pizzagirl drifted through the yard then, a slow but hopeful sounding song that made Liam nestle in closer to Theo’s chest.

Theo gently took the crown out of Liam’s hand and placed it on his head, thinking he looked so much better with it on now that he was dancing with him. Liam smiled up at him softly, then placed his hands on Theo’s shoulders as Theo’s settled on Liam’s hips.

They rocked slowly to the music, and Theo’s tension started to melt away. This was more of what he had been imagining for their first dance together. Surrounded by the string lights hanging from the trees, the sound of crickets, and the smell of crisp night air, it felt right. 

As the song ended, Liam looked up at him through those long eyelashes before kissing him. “Let’s go to your room,” He said against Theo’s lips before they glided over his again, and Theo could only nod his agreement.

Theo shut the door behind him once they got there, for what he didn’t know, but Liam was kissing him again a second later and wasn’t letting up. “Li…” He trailed in between kisses as Liam focused on his neck. His hands rested on Liam’s lower back, neither goading or pushing him away, just keeping him where he was. Liam shut him up again in the best of ways, pushing Theo softly towards his bed until Theo had to fall back. 

“I want you,” Liam whispered, crawling to straddle Theo’s waist. Theo looked at him, dazed and surprised, but Liam looked completely sure. “Please, Theo…”

It was all Liam had to say. The tie fell on the floor a few minutes later. They held onto each other like they were afraid the other would fade away.

+++

_ April 9, 2020  
_ It was the best feeling in the world to be dating Liam, Theo knew that for sure. There was no doubt in his mind that he couldn’t be any happier with someone than he was with Liam, and he knew this was where he was meant to be. Where  _ they _ were meant to be. 

So he didn’t have hard feelings about Liam being unable to come out. All he had to know was that he loved him and he loved Liam. He’d be there till the end of the line for him, no matter what happened or who they told about them. He didn’t mind the long walk home alone while Liam was trying not to be suspicious, because he knew that Liam was one house away always.

When he reached a foot in front of Liam’s house, he glanced up at the front porch but didn’t bother stopping. Both of Liam’s parents’ cars were in the driveway again, so even though Liam had probably been home for awhile by now, Theo knew he shouldn’t hesitate to walk past. All he allowed himself was a glance up at Liam’s bedroom window, but his lights were off.

He was about to walk past the house when he caught the movement of a shadow through one of the front windows, the living room window. Before he could register it, Liam’s front door opened widely and shut loudly, but he was more focused on Liam running at him. 

Liam flung himself into Theo’s arms, making Theo’s backpack slide off his shoulder onto the ground with how he had to catch him so they didn’t both fall on the sidewalk. Theo’s question was muffled by Liam’s lips suddenly on his,  _ hard _ , as his arms wrapped around Theo’s neck tightly. 

No matter how much he wanted to give Liam his full and total attention, all he could think about was where they were and what they were doing.  _ Liam was kissing him in the middle of the sidewalk. In broad daylight. His parents were home _ . Yet, Liam wasn’t letting up, kissing Theo hard and holding him there tight, effectively leaving Theo stunned when Liam pulled back to smile against his lips. 

“I told them,” Liam said excitedly before Theo could even speak.

Theo blinked the confusion out of his head, but he still could barely think. “You...told…?” He asked, not being able to comprehend with how dazed he was.

Liam didn’t miss a beat, grinning ear to ear. “I told my parents.”

That time, Theo blinked at him again and his heart jumped. “You told your parents,” He repeated breathlessly, watching Liam nod. “You...you told your  _ parents!”  _ Liam reached for his face again, and Theo went down willingly to attach their lips. “A-and they’re okay with it?” Theo asked stupidly when he pulled away. 

Liam laughed loudly, his head falling against Theo’s shoulder. “Yes,” He breathed, reaching down to grab Theo’s hand and intertwine their fingers. “They even said that they were glad it’s you.”

Theo sighed in relief, gripping Liam’s hand tightly. He could hardly even speak. “Thank  _ fuck.” _

It was then that they both caught sight of their neighbors - Daniel standing by the mailbox and Pete checking out the garden - looking at the two of them proudly. Daniel even shot them a thumbs-up, which made them dissolve into laughter.  _ The whole neighborhood had been waiting for this day. _

“Come on, we gotta go tell your mom!” Liam exclaimed. “Not about the gay thing, about the- God, you know what I’m talking about,” Liam stammered. A second later, Liam grabbed his hand and pulled him to run down the sidewalk, the two of them racing to Theo’s house without a care in the world.

_ (Of course, there were still lots more people to tell, and things wouldn’t always be easy, but they were beaming the whole rest of the night - The weight was beginning to lift.) _

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!!
> 
> This was yet another fic that I started writing awhile ago and decided to finish. It all came about from me reading an UNGODLY amount of Steve Rogers/Bucky Barnes fic over these past few days. That wouldn't be weird if it wasn't for the fact that I have never seen a Marvel movie relevant to them in my life, so go figure.  
> Anyway, I was reading a whole bunch of childhood friends AUs and was reminded of how much I adore those, so here's my contribution to that. I hope I did it nicely :)
> 
> Comments are always appreciated :)))  
> Message me on tumblr with any questions, requests, or just to chat: grenadinepeach


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